The New Link Welcome Package

Here at Mercenary Words we're always trying to spread our message of fast cars, cheap beer, and Benthamian utilitarianism. That's why we're thrilled when another site chooses to link to us. Hello Roundelay, Go Go Gadget People Skills, and the always nordic Tinfoil Viking Science. After the revolution, you are all assured of mid-level bureaucratic positions in my Legions of Terror.

I've instructed Seamus, the Mercenary Words intern, to put together some welcome gift baskets for our new minions. Seamus, you may recall, was fired after an unfortunate incident regarding slander and property defacement. Unfortunately, due to the failure of any major networks to pick up the American Manion series, we've been unable to replace him. As a result, we continue to exist in an uneasy truce.

But lets forget all that for now, and take a look at how Mercenary Words says "Hi there! Serve me or Die!" to our new friends.

"Hi there! Serve me or Die!"

First off, a complimentary copy of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere - a great book. Next, a bottle of 1977 Barros Colheita - a lovely tawny port. Digging deeper, we find a copy of the Robert DeNiro film Ronin - an exciting thriller. Not only that, but an undefiled autographed picture of me, Lance Manion. Further down, there's a box. What could be in the box? When I shake it, something rattles. Let's see what it is...

Hmm. It appears to be an enraged snake. And judging from the way my arm is puffing up, it's a venomous one. That should do it for today. Come back tomorrow when we feed Seamus his own kidneys. Until then, I'll be in a coma.

LM