Testing My Patience
You know what I love about blogs? It's a chance to look into the mind of another person and see what that person really cares about. In my case, for example, a careful observer would see that I really care about drinking, fast cars, lemurs, Mrs. Manion, and tapirs. Not necessarily in that order.
What frosts me, is when you visit somebody else's blog and rather than actually write something, they've put a link to the Kitty Boo Boo name generator, or some other such garbage. Plus they'll post their own scores. Like it's badge of honor to get 78.43 percent on the "What Genital Are You?" test.
The "What Genital Are You?" test
Now that I write this, I find the score of 78.43% on the "What Genital Are You?" test to be deeply disturbing. What the hell does that even mean? The person is three quarters of a genital? Seriously freaky. And I for one, am not taking the test. There are some things a man was not meant to know.
But hey, I'm a live and let live kind of guy. So to be helpful, I've come up with some test ideas for the people who make these things. I'm strictly amateur with the Javascript, so someone else will have to do the code.
Here goes:
How much of a tool am I?
The test consists of a single button. Clicking the button indicates that yes, you are in fact a tool. Winner recieve a graphic saying "Yes, I'm a tool!" They can post it in their blogs and let other tools click through to make their presence known.
The Star Trek Buffy Purity Evil Overlord Innocence Realty test
This test asks about a thousand random questions and assigns a random score. It also flags the test taker as someone willing to work long hours for free. I'll sell the identities of these people to sweat shop owners and software companies.
The Could I Write Technical Documentation Test?
This test asks users to write whatever complex technical documentation I'm currently on the hook for. If it's any good, I'm keeping it and passing it off as my own.
The moral here is if you take on the responsibility for writing a blog, then actually write something. It's like a big electronic puppy that needs to be walked every day, or it will pee the urine of disuse all over the living room of the internet. Or something symbolic like that.
Man, I suck at metaphors.
LM
What frosts me, is when you visit somebody else's blog and rather than actually write something, they've put a link to the Kitty Boo Boo name generator, or some other such garbage. Plus they'll post their own scores. Like it's badge of honor to get 78.43 percent on the "What Genital Are You?" test.
The "What Genital Are You?" test
Now that I write this, I find the score of 78.43% on the "What Genital Are You?" test to be deeply disturbing. What the hell does that even mean? The person is three quarters of a genital? Seriously freaky. And I for one, am not taking the test. There are some things a man was not meant to know.
But hey, I'm a live and let live kind of guy. So to be helpful, I've come up with some test ideas for the people who make these things. I'm strictly amateur with the Javascript, so someone else will have to do the code.
Here goes:
How much of a tool am I?
The test consists of a single button. Clicking the button indicates that yes, you are in fact a tool. Winner recieve a graphic saying "Yes, I'm a tool!" They can post it in their blogs and let other tools click through to make their presence known.
The Star Trek Buffy Purity Evil Overlord Innocence Realty test
This test asks about a thousand random questions and assigns a random score. It also flags the test taker as someone willing to work long hours for free. I'll sell the identities of these people to sweat shop owners and software companies.
The Could I Write Technical Documentation Test?
This test asks users to write whatever complex technical documentation I'm currently on the hook for. If it's any good, I'm keeping it and passing it off as my own.
The moral here is if you take on the responsibility for writing a blog, then actually write something. It's like a big electronic puppy that needs to be walked every day, or it will pee the urine of disuse all over the living room of the internet. Or something symbolic like that.
Man, I suck at metaphors.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 4:25 PM
2 Comments:
Lack of effort is criminal, I say.
Well, you said. But I agree. Lists, quizzes, cartoon representations of you, and worst of all, the weather where you live all suck wet shit from a dead donkey's ass on the content scale.
Geez, Lance. Have you been visiting my sister's livejournal again?
I like the "Am I a Tool?" meme idea. Can we java that up? I have people I'd like to send the code to in the midwest.
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