Why Am I So Great?

You know, it's one of those question that I sometimes have to answer. "Why am I so awesome?" Women want to have me, men want to be me. It's that kind of thing. Nonetheless, I feel the need to level the playing field for the millions of less cool people out there. Because I'm magnanimous in addition to being brilliant (and savagely sexy), I've added the following Lance Manion weaknesses:

French maid outfits - What can I say? I'm a fan of the classics. Nothing beats a French maid outfit and a feather duster. For added points, identify yourself as Monique.

Krug Clos De Mesnil - This stuff makes Cristal look cheap. It's good. Champagne from a single vineyard and single varietal. This is the best champagne in the galaxy. The Manion cellars currently contain two bottles. Unfortunately, given the replacement cost, only my descendants will get to drink them.

Husqvarna - What free time I have, I spend it working in the yard. When you want something that will blow holes in your shrubbery, buy Husqvarna. Whatever you've bought, point it at the offending target, and wait for it to explode. Chainsaws to string trimmers, they never disappoint.

Whatever you've bought, point it at the offending target, and wait for it to explode.

Fine port - If it's not twenty years old or later, don't bother. Come to think of it, apply that to the French Maid thing as well.

Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett - I am unfit to read the drafts of these giants. They are brilliant and deserve to be waited on by attractive young women in French maid outfits bearing vintage port.

So there you go. It's not quite the same as kryptonite, but I'm feeling like a sport tonight. I fully expect that tomorrow morning the front yard will be swamped by suppicants bearing champagne and port.

Damn straight.

LM