A Manion Thanksgiving, Plus Added Bonus Meme!
So it's been a while (yet again). I don't really want to go into the details. Suffice to say the Manion family Thanksgiving was celebrated in warm and lovely San Diego this year, at my brother Sonny Crocket's house. One thing led to another, some Manions went to Tijuana, some drugs were smuggled, body cavities were searched, penis ensued, Manions were arrested, police were bribed, Manions escaped, and the whole thing ended up in this multi-state crime spree, high speed chase fiasco. But I suppose every family has its traditions.
I'd go into it more, but I've been invited by the always scrumtrellescent fightguy to participate in this whole "meme" thing that the kids are doing these days. I'm too lazy to think of an excuse to get out of it, so here goes. The unifying theme seems to be multiples of five. How 'bout that?
And so....
20 years ago I was: Stuffed into a locker somewhere. I'd rather not think about it.
15 years ago I was: Worshipping a half deflated basketball on a rock with a man named Backdoor Johnny Balls. It seemed like a good idea at the time. In retrospect, it might have been kind of weird.
10 years ago I was: Thinking to myself, "Sure, selling stereo equipment at Circuit City is all glamorous, but maybe there's something else I could do."
5 years ago: Recently married, getting evicted. Man, you accidentally flood one apartment and the landlord just holds it against you forever, you know?
1 year ago: Recovering from 'roid surgery. Two weeks off, tons of pain meds, and all the Aqua Teen Hunger Force you can handle.
Yesterday: Documenting how to break unbreakable encryption algorhythms (Elliptic Curve Encryption, Cipher Streams, that sort of thing). Hint - Go after the implementation, not the crypto itself. Yeah.
5 snacks I enjoy: Pretzel goldfish, beer, sushi, Chex mix, methamphetamines.
5 songs I know all the words to: Miami 2017/Billy Joel, Our Lips are Sealed/Go Go's, Blinded By the Light/Manfred Mann, Ziggy Stardust/David Bowie, Volcano Girls/Veruca Salt
5 things I would do with a million dollars: Aston Martin DB12 Vanquish, fully stocked wine cellar, pay off my house, travel the world, hire a squad of bloodthirsty mercenary lemurs to be my 24 hour body guard.
5 places I would run away to: London, UK; Auckland, New Zealand; Champagne, France; Nantucket, US; Napa Valley, US.
5 things I would never wear: Skin tight bike shorts, sandals, clamps of any kind, loungewear, underoos.
5 favorite TV programs: Futurama, Battlestar Galactica, House, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tres Mujeres
5 bad habits: Displaying mercy, not thinking things through, trying a bad plan again because "it might work this time", being lazy.
5 biggest joys: Mrs. Manion, the crushing of an enemy, doing something new, exploring, rage
5 favourite toys: Computer, car, home theater, pocket multi-tools, my magical pants weasel.
5 fictional characters I would like to have dinner with: Lucy Weston (Dracula), The Lady Door (Neverwhere), Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby), Havelock Vetinari (The Discworld Series), Crowley (Good Omens)
With any luck, these little bits of Manion-related trivia have given you a deep insight into my character (or lack thereof). Finally, I have memed. I feel so dirty. But that's kind of my ground state, so it probably has nothing to do with the memeage.
LM
I'd go into it more, but I've been invited by the always scrumtrellescent fightguy to participate in this whole "meme" thing that the kids are doing these days. I'm too lazy to think of an excuse to get out of it, so here goes. The unifying theme seems to be multiples of five. How 'bout that?
And so....
20 years ago I was: Stuffed into a locker somewhere. I'd rather not think about it.
15 years ago I was: Worshipping a half deflated basketball on a rock with a man named Backdoor Johnny Balls. It seemed like a good idea at the time. In retrospect, it might have been kind of weird.
10 years ago I was: Thinking to myself, "Sure, selling stereo equipment at Circuit City is all glamorous, but maybe there's something else I could do."
5 years ago: Recently married, getting evicted. Man, you accidentally flood one apartment and the landlord just holds it against you forever, you know?
1 year ago: Recovering from 'roid surgery. Two weeks off, tons of pain meds, and all the Aqua Teen Hunger Force you can handle.
Yesterday: Documenting how to break unbreakable encryption algorhythms (Elliptic Curve Encryption, Cipher Streams, that sort of thing). Hint - Go after the implementation, not the crypto itself. Yeah.
5 snacks I enjoy: Pretzel goldfish, beer, sushi, Chex mix, methamphetamines.
5 songs I know all the words to: Miami 2017/Billy Joel, Our Lips are Sealed/Go Go's, Blinded By the Light/Manfred Mann, Ziggy Stardust/David Bowie, Volcano Girls/Veruca Salt
5 things I would do with a million dollars: Aston Martin DB12 Vanquish, fully stocked wine cellar, pay off my house, travel the world, hire a squad of bloodthirsty mercenary lemurs to be my 24 hour body guard.
5 places I would run away to: London, UK; Auckland, New Zealand; Champagne, France; Nantucket, US; Napa Valley, US.
5 things I would never wear: Skin tight bike shorts, sandals, clamps of any kind, loungewear, underoos.
5 favorite TV programs: Futurama, Battlestar Galactica, House, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tres Mujeres
5 bad habits: Displaying mercy, not thinking things through, trying a bad plan again because "it might work this time", being lazy.
5 biggest joys: Mrs. Manion, the crushing of an enemy, doing something new, exploring, rage
5 favourite toys: Computer, car, home theater, pocket multi-tools, my magical pants weasel.
5 fictional characters I would like to have dinner with: Lucy Weston (Dracula), The Lady Door (Neverwhere), Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby), Havelock Vetinari (The Discworld Series), Crowley (Good Omens)
With any luck, these little bits of Manion-related trivia have given you a deep insight into my character (or lack thereof). Finally, I have memed. I feel so dirty. But that's kind of my ground state, so it probably has nothing to do with the memeage.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 11:29 AM
2 Comments:
5 bad habits: Displaying mercy, not thinking things through, trying a bad plan again because "it might work this time", being lazy.
Now that is fucking clever. Which is also why this blog hasn't made you seventeen million dollars yet. Trust a professional: clever will always lose to a big, pulsating dick joke.
Which is why you are blogging from the comfort of your own, honest-to-God owned home, while I am power drinking in a rented apartment, looking forward to a 3 a.m. alarm clock to tell big, pulsating dick jokes on the radio.
So yeah: stick with clever. The hours are better.
I love House. AND I love "it might work this time." Because you never know. It might.
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