Roommates Past
I've actually been pretty good about keeping touch with former roommates, such luminaries as Amandarama and Backdoor Johnny Balls. But over the years there have been a lot of them, and I've lost touch with many. So this entry goes out to the ones that I've managed to misplace.
Mad Dog - Junior Year, College - Mad Dog got the nickname when he dropped two tabs of acid and attempted to hold up the campus restaurant. With a spoon. A plastic spoon. Security maced his ass and sat on him until the spiders went away. Mad Dog was last seen smuggling himself into Cuba. Really.
Chimwemwe - Sophmore Year, College - After a series of housing screw ups involving the institutionalization of my planned roommate (hey, at least he had the decency to melt down at home, and not in my room) I ended up rooming with an exchange student from the University of Malawi. He was a nice enough guy, but very unclear on American culture. His expressed goal was to sleep with lots of American women. It was a lot like living with an African version of
SNL's Czech Brothers. ("We're two wild and crazy guys!") Chimwemwe was last seen heading back to Malawi, having been surprisingly successful at his goal.
Lynne - 1997, Brighton, MA - Lynne was (purportedly) a student at a Boston area college. And completely insane. When she applied to be our roommate (filling the hole left by a guy named Peaches), she told us that she enjoyed baking, cleaning, and walking around in her underwear. Okay, so we were stupid. It wasn't until later that we realized she was lying to us. Turns out that Lynne was actually an escort. I suppose she would have done the underwear thing had we paid her, but we didn't have that kind of money. The big challenge was keeping her and Backdoor Johnny Balls from killing each other. They had a hate that made the whole Isreal/Palestine thing seem kind of light duty. Lynne was last seen packing up and leaving. She didn't say where she was going. We didn't ask.
Yes, those are just a few of the many people to have basked in my glorious presence. Jealous? Yeah, you know you are!
LM
Mad Dog - Junior Year, College - Mad Dog got the nickname when he dropped two tabs of acid and attempted to hold up the campus restaurant. With a spoon. A plastic spoon. Security maced his ass and sat on him until the spiders went away. Mad Dog was last seen smuggling himself into Cuba. Really.
Chimwemwe - Sophmore Year, College - After a series of housing screw ups involving the institutionalization of my planned roommate (hey, at least he had the decency to melt down at home, and not in my room) I ended up rooming with an exchange student from the University of Malawi. He was a nice enough guy, but very unclear on American culture. His expressed goal was to sleep with lots of American women. It was a lot like living with an African version of
SNL's Czech Brothers. ("We're two wild and crazy guys!") Chimwemwe was last seen heading back to Malawi, having been surprisingly successful at his goal.
Lynne - 1997, Brighton, MA - Lynne was (purportedly) a student at a Boston area college. And completely insane. When she applied to be our roommate (filling the hole left by a guy named Peaches), she told us that she enjoyed baking, cleaning, and walking around in her underwear. Okay, so we were stupid. It wasn't until later that we realized she was lying to us. Turns out that Lynne was actually an escort. I suppose she would have done the underwear thing had we paid her, but we didn't have that kind of money. The big challenge was keeping her and Backdoor Johnny Balls from killing each other. They had a hate that made the whole Isreal/Palestine thing seem kind of light duty. Lynne was last seen packing up and leaving. She didn't say where she was going. We didn't ask.
Yes, those are just a few of the many people to have basked in my glorious presence. Jealous? Yeah, you know you are!
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 5:12 PM
2 Comments:
I used to live in a sort of communal flophouse setting. One of the more entertaining episodes involved a guy getting schooled about unrepentant tooting by having another guy shotgun 2 Diet Cokes, then letting the ensuing gas explode in farting guy's vicinity.
Good times(?).
Wow. That's like, poetic or something Ari. Plus it involves vengeance. Vengeance rocks!
Thanks for dropping by Sandy. You'll come for the words, but you'll stay for the crass commercialism.
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