*SSNNNNOOORRRRTT* Awesome!
Today we've secretly replaced Lance Manion's regular coffee with pure Columbian cocaine.
Let's see if he notices!
Truth be told, it's actually a mix of espresso and NyQuil, but the results are much the same. I have a cold, and in order to be coherent during yet another interview, I took some NyQuil. Unfortunately, that zonked me out. To bring myself back to life, I drank fourteen espressos.
I feel pretty great. The only downside is that I've realized that the cafeteria workers downstairs are plotting to kill me. I'm kind of amazed that I didn't see it before. Nonetheless, it's not really a problem. I'll just blow up the building and get them first.
But I'll do it after lunch. No sense in trashing the cafeteria before I get something to eat. In the mean time, I'll just change my oil, paint the office, rewrite 430 pages of documentation, and kill all who oppose me.
LM
Let's see if he notices!
Truth be told, it's actually a mix of espresso and NyQuil, but the results are much the same. I have a cold, and in order to be coherent during yet another interview, I took some NyQuil. Unfortunately, that zonked me out. To bring myself back to life, I drank fourteen espressos.
I feel pretty great. The only downside is that I've realized that the cafeteria workers downstairs are plotting to kill me. I'm kind of amazed that I didn't see it before. Nonetheless, it's not really a problem. I'll just blow up the building and get them first.
But I'll do it after lunch. No sense in trashing the cafeteria before I get something to eat. In the mean time, I'll just change my oil, paint the office, rewrite 430 pages of documentation, and kill all who oppose me.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 2:35 PM
3 Comments:
Dude, you've told me that Day-quil will leave you in a standing black-out. What did you think would happen if you took Nyquil? During the day?
Oh, and btw, the security cameras are for real. The ones that pop up unexpectedly in Dunkin Donuts that you know are there just especially to watch you? Yup. Real.
We were going to poison the pickles on your sub sandwich, but obviously now we'll need a more proactive approach. Better put an alarm on your car and check the brake lines and tires frequently, because we're pissed, and goddamnit, we're serious.
Isn't espresso + OTC drugs how Nazi Italy began?
Check your history books.... I think it is.
Post a Comment
<< Home