Sheep!

My parents live across the street from a sheep farm. Sheep are interesting creatures. They're dumber than a barrel of hair, and not all that clean. Still, they're relatively people friendly.

Unfortunately, that whole fluffy white Easter lamb thing becomes a little less of a story book thing when you realize that you're eating one of them. Oh well.

Now I'd like to share with you a sheep joke. (Yes, I'm one of the few people who actually remembers jokes. It's a disability and I'm seeking treatment.) The joke's a little old, so some of the references are slightly dated, but work with me here.

So an American, an Australian, and a Scotsman are walking down a country road. They come across a sheep. The sheep has tried (and failed) to jump a fence. It's suspended across the fence, with its butt hanging in the air.

The American looks at the sheep and says, "If only that were Cindy Crawford!"

The Australian looks at the sheep and says, "If only that were Elle McPherson!"

The Scotsman looks at the sheep and says, "If only it were dark out!"

The joke is funny because it implies that all Scots enjoy having sex with sheep! Is that great or what? Come back soon when we have Lance Manion's Ginormous Compendium of Blond Jokes, and Lance is bludgeoned to death by Mrs. Manion, a natural blonde.