I Need an Arch Nemesis
All the great heroes of the world have a great nemesis. Someone their equal in cunning and evil. I think it's the challenge that drives both to greatness. Until I get enemy of this caliber, I won't be able to move from being awesome to totally awesome.
Unfortunately, my current arch nemesis, the cat known as Sack of Garbage, is attempting to dominate the world through pee, starting with my house. It's certainly testing my patience, but not my cunning or brilliance.
So I'm placing the following ad on Craigs List.
Help Wanted: Arch Nemesis
Writer seeks arch-enemy. Must be evil, cunning, and physically weak. Willing to plot against humanity with easily foiled plans. Must have own fortress, preferably within 30 miles of Boston. No criminal record, clean drivers license.
Hideous deformities and ability to turn into a snake a plus! Health/Dental + 401k.
Unfortunately, my current arch nemesis, the cat known as Sack of Garbage, is attempting to dominate the world through pee, starting with my house. It's certainly testing my patience, but not my cunning or brilliance.
So I'm placing the following ad on Craigs List.
Help Wanted: Arch Nemesis
Writer seeks arch-enemy. Must be evil, cunning, and physically weak. Willing to plot against humanity with easily foiled plans. Must have own fortress, preferably within 30 miles of Boston. No criminal record, clean drivers license.
Hideous deformities and ability to turn into a snake a plus! Health/Dental + 401k.
posted by Lance Manion at 12:36 PM
1 Comments:
I think you forgot "EOE, women and minorities encouraged to apply" there at the end.
A personal nemesis is important. And it's important that it be a mutual feeling of nemesis-ness on both parties part, because if one party wants it more it just becomes obsessive stalking. Phone calls like, "I built this great death ray! All of humanity will tremble at it's power. The Earth will be mine! Why don't you ever return my calls? I thought we had something special. Look, I'm sorry about that weird thing where I just showed up at your job, but I just hadn't heard from you. Please don't be mad. Wanna get dinner sometime?"
No one wants that.
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