Penetrode: The Movie Continues
So we've got a camera crew on site today. Marketing has decided to produce a brief film about the Penetrode experience. It's something to play on the plasma screens when they're at a trade show. I wouldn't know. They don't let me near the customers. I tell you, one incident of inappropriate humping, and they never let you forget it. I still want to know what that guy's cologne was.
In any event, ever since my feet starred in a movie with Bob Hoskins and Michael Caine (true story for another time), I've wanted to get back in front of the camera. But how? A breakdown in negotiations prevented me from having a major role. Clearly a more creative approach was called for.
I made it clear to the film crew that I was willing to do nude scenes if they were tasteful and artistic. Then I made it clear that I was even more willing to do nude work if it was sleazy and degrading.
The film crew indicated that there wouldn't be any nude work in this production, and that they'd really just like us to behave like it's a typical day at Penetrode. Apparently these shots were just to serve as background footage.
Now might be a good time to mention that I've been looking to increase my profile here at Penetrode. Sure, it's fun and games being a drone, but I'd much rather be a highly paid figurehead. So I've been reading a lot of those career advice books. I've been saving a few dollars by getting them at the local remaindered books store. My favorite is entitled "Jello Shots For Success". The premise is basically that you should get wasted before any major decision. That way you'll be loose and ready to deal with anything.
Fortunately, I was already wasted on a combination of coffee, tequila, and copy toner, so I was way ahead of the game.
Unfortunately, all of the backround footage was later deemed unusable. It seems that the film editors were unable to locate more than three seconds of film that did not include my naked and oiled form running into frame screaming "Penetrode rocks it Manion style! I got your data security right here!"
And apparently I owe them a lens. I don't want to go into why.
On the plus side, the production company has called me about a "special interest" film that they're working on.
LM
In any event, ever since my feet starred in a movie with Bob Hoskins and Michael Caine (true story for another time), I've wanted to get back in front of the camera. But how? A breakdown in negotiations prevented me from having a major role. Clearly a more creative approach was called for.
I made it clear to the film crew that I was willing to do nude scenes if they were tasteful and artistic. Then I made it clear that I was even more willing to do nude work if it was sleazy and degrading.
The film crew indicated that there wouldn't be any nude work in this production, and that they'd really just like us to behave like it's a typical day at Penetrode. Apparently these shots were just to serve as background footage.
Now might be a good time to mention that I've been looking to increase my profile here at Penetrode. Sure, it's fun and games being a drone, but I'd much rather be a highly paid figurehead. So I've been reading a lot of those career advice books. I've been saving a few dollars by getting them at the local remaindered books store. My favorite is entitled "Jello Shots For Success". The premise is basically that you should get wasted before any major decision. That way you'll be loose and ready to deal with anything.
Fortunately, I was already wasted on a combination of coffee, tequila, and copy toner, so I was way ahead of the game.
Unfortunately, all of the backround footage was later deemed unusable. It seems that the film editors were unable to locate more than three seconds of film that did not include my naked and oiled form running into frame screaming "Penetrode rocks it Manion style! I got your data security right here!"
And apparently I owe them a lens. I don't want to go into why.
On the plus side, the production company has called me about a "special interest" film that they're working on.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 2:53 PM
1 Comments:
Title: Penetrode, oiled nakedness and you. Yep, there's a definite rainbow connection for that one.
(Note I didn't invoke data security/packets, etc.)
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