A Time of Reflection

2005 is drawing to a close, and a time of reflection is upon us. Here at Mercenary Words, we're not real big on reflection. That's because it frequently involved cringe inducing memories that we're trying to eradicate with frequent and massive doses of tequila. Of course, a massive dose of tequila often creates its own cringe inducing memories. I guess that's why they call it the circle of life. Or something.

Anyway, in the spirit of the season, I'm going to post some of the most memorable things I've said in the past year. And no, I'm not going to give you context.

• "Man, I feel like I'm growing a vagina just listening to this."
• "My god. That shits in my face three times!"
• "You could toss a small child into that thing and it still wouldn't stop. You'd probably need to clean out the auger after four or five of them, though."
• "Sweet Jesus. Drive as if you had a pair."
• "Why is all the good stuff is illegal in this state?"
• "I think we've failed to consider violence as a solution here."
• (singing) "Loooo-ving me is easy 'cause I'm beautiful."
• "I'm sorry but the ethical ramifications are making me really uncomfortable. (silence, followed by extended laughter) But seriously, can I get that in the form of a bank check?"

Just imagine. If you hung out with me, you'd hear this kind of stuff all the time. At least until you joined the ever growing number of people who've taken out restraining orders.

LM