Is It True?
I've noticed that this blog has had the unintended effect of starting a lot of rumors about me. So I've decided that rather than let these things get out of hand, I'm going to address them head on, here and now.
So Lance, is it true that your 'roid is dating Lindsay Lohan?
No. Although my 'roid has been seen out and about with many a starlet, my 'roid and Lindsay remain "just good friends."
Just how many times have you been arrested?
You'll have to clarify the question. In this country? What if I was just detained for questioning? By which law enforcement agency?
Are you high?
Huh? What? Right now? Why? What have you heard?
We've heard that in job interviews you refuse to answer the "If you could be an
animal, what animal would you be?" question.
This is true. I used to say "I'd like to be an intestinal parasite." But that creeped people out. Now I just don't answer.
Is it true that you attended a gay wedding this past weekend?
This is also true. The food was excellent and the cake was to die for. The music emphasized show tunes a bit more than I might have chosen personally, but the event was a blast. I think this alone is more than enough reason to legalize gay marriage. You can marry a soap dispenser for all I care, so long as you have an open bar.
LM
So Lance, is it true that your 'roid is dating Lindsay Lohan?
No. Although my 'roid has been seen out and about with many a starlet, my 'roid and Lindsay remain "just good friends."
Just how many times have you been arrested?
You'll have to clarify the question. In this country? What if I was just detained for questioning? By which law enforcement agency?
Are you high?
Huh? What? Right now? Why? What have you heard?
We've heard that in job interviews you refuse to answer the "If you could be an
animal, what animal would you be?" question.
This is true. I used to say "I'd like to be an intestinal parasite." But that creeped people out. Now I just don't answer.
Is it true that you attended a gay wedding this past weekend?
This is also true. The food was excellent and the cake was to die for. The music emphasized show tunes a bit more than I might have chosen personally, but the event was a blast. I think this alone is more than enough reason to legalize gay marriage. You can marry a soap dispenser for all I care, so long as you have an open bar.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 4:32 PM
2 Comments:
I don't like to start Internet rumors unless it's done with complete anonymity.
But I totally saw Lohan making out with your 'roid.
Anonymity is definitely the way to go, Sara. Why talk to someone's face when you could be stabbing them in the back, you know?
And my 'roid totally broke up with Lindsay last week.
Post a Comment
<< Home