Status Report: Small Amount of Cat
As long-term regular readers of Mercenary Words know, we have a cat. The cat is known colloquially as Small Amount of Cat. Professionally the cat goes by Lafite, as in Chateau Lafite Rothschild. It made as much sense to name the cat after a first growth Bordeau as anything else.
(We used to have two cats, but one day Sack of Garbage just never came home. Seriously, we have no idea what happened. The vet's assistant pretty clearly thinks we terminated Sack of Garbage. But we didn't. At least I didn't. And I'm pretty sure Mrs. Manion didn't. I mean, I'm sure there was a good reason she was out digging a hole in the back yard in the middle of the night...)
Anyway, Small Amount of Cat has decided that it's very important that we get up at about 5 in the morning. It's getting to the point where I'm ready to dig a mysterious hole in the back yard too.
Small Amount of Cat clearly has some amount of siamese heritage. And also clearly has some amount of air raid siren heritage. I'm thinking we may have to make her sleep in the basement for a few days until she gets the message. Or at least gets the message that waking me up at 5 in the morning six days in a row is not a plan guaranteed to ensure long term kitty health.
I've offered to start waking up the small cat with an air horn whenever she's asleep so she knows what it's like, but Mrs. Manion says that's not a good plan. She also nixed the spring loaded platform that would have fired Small Amount Cat of gently out the second floor bathroom window. So I'm working on it. I'll keep you posted.
LM
(We used to have two cats, but one day Sack of Garbage just never came home. Seriously, we have no idea what happened. The vet's assistant pretty clearly thinks we terminated Sack of Garbage. But we didn't. At least I didn't. And I'm pretty sure Mrs. Manion didn't. I mean, I'm sure there was a good reason she was out digging a hole in the back yard in the middle of the night...)
Anyway, Small Amount of Cat has decided that it's very important that we get up at about 5 in the morning. It's getting to the point where I'm ready to dig a mysterious hole in the back yard too.
Small Amount of Cat clearly has some amount of siamese heritage. And also clearly has some amount of air raid siren heritage. I'm thinking we may have to make her sleep in the basement for a few days until she gets the message. Or at least gets the message that waking me up at 5 in the morning six days in a row is not a plan guaranteed to ensure long term kitty health.
I've offered to start waking up the small cat with an air horn whenever she's asleep so she knows what it's like, but Mrs. Manion says that's not a good plan. She also nixed the spring loaded platform that would have fired Small Amount Cat of gently out the second floor bathroom window. So I'm working on it. I'll keep you posted.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 12:47 PM
3 Comments:
You are always the humanitarian, Lance. I personally would've rigged a contraption that fired Small Ammount of Cat very violently out of the second floor bathroom window. I know my aim would've been for the neighbor's trampoline, but I might have 'miscalculated' the trajectory to the point where it landed in the busy intersection instead. My hat's off to you sir.
Mom's cat, the now departed Thai, used to knock on the bedroom doors at about 5 in the morning accompanied by pitiful meowing I think it might a Siamese thing.
Will a Super Soaker fit under your bedroom door?
I'm not so much a humanitarian as I am afraid to face the wrath of Mrs. Manion, Ithiel.
I think it must be a siamese thing, Amandarama, either that or a "God hates Lance" thing. I could see it going either way.
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