Everyone in Hollywood Has a Script
Or so they tell me. So I decided to come up with a script. I'm going to just give you the overview here, because otherwise you'd recognize the awesome genius of it and steal my idea.
For what it's worth, this idea was inspired, in a loose and non-copyrightable way, by Amandarama's latest post...
Here we go -
"Divided We Stand" - by Lance Manion
It's the year 2105. Brain transplant technology has just been invented. Police detective Turk Mannington has just been gunned down in the line of duty. Racing against time, surgeons manage to remove his brain from his body. Unfortunately, they don't have anywhere to put it. So they run to the animal testing lab to find a host body.
Unfortunately, the testing lab only has a bunch of lemurs. Even more unfortunately, the cranial capacity of a lemur is not nearly big enough to hold a human brain. So Mannington's brain
gets divided amoung a dozen lemurs.
He can only think clearly when all of the lemurs are within a 10 foot radius of Stinky, the lead lemur. When a lemur is outside the circle Mannington loses the brain function contained in that lemur. Like if the lemur for a given memory is outside the radius, he loses that memory. Hilarity ensues when his memory of ettiquette steps out and two of his lemur selves have sex with a bag of coffee grounds.
Manningon frantically tries to keep his lemur-selves out of trouble while investigating his own murder. It's like a buddy movie, where one buddy is the hard-bitten cop, who does things by the book, and the other cop is 12 lemurs that like to mark their territory with poo. Despite his initial rage at being trapped in a collection of small primitive mammals, Mannington eventually accepts his fate, and become the first lemur detectives on the force.
It will be filled with touching scenes like the one where Mannington tries to reconnect with his fiance, while 11 other lemur selves check the fiance for ticks and fleas.
The climax of the movie will come when 12 lemurs collectively fire a rocket launcher into the fleeing limousine of the bad guy. In a stunning twist, the bad guy is then transplanted into a dozen fossas (that weird looking thing below), natural enemy of the lemur.
That smell you're smelling? That's the great, fresh scent of Oscar. Check it out, people.
LM
For what it's worth, this idea was inspired, in a loose and non-copyrightable way, by Amandarama's latest post...
Here we go -
"Divided We Stand" - by Lance Manion
It's the year 2105. Brain transplant technology has just been invented. Police detective Turk Mannington has just been gunned down in the line of duty. Racing against time, surgeons manage to remove his brain from his body. Unfortunately, they don't have anywhere to put it. So they run to the animal testing lab to find a host body.
Unfortunately, the testing lab only has a bunch of lemurs. Even more unfortunately, the cranial capacity of a lemur is not nearly big enough to hold a human brain. So Mannington's brain
gets divided amoung a dozen lemurs.
He can only think clearly when all of the lemurs are within a 10 foot radius of Stinky, the lead lemur. When a lemur is outside the circle Mannington loses the brain function contained in that lemur. Like if the lemur for a given memory is outside the radius, he loses that memory. Hilarity ensues when his memory of ettiquette steps out and two of his lemur selves have sex with a bag of coffee grounds.
Manningon frantically tries to keep his lemur-selves out of trouble while investigating his own murder. It's like a buddy movie, where one buddy is the hard-bitten cop, who does things by the book, and the other cop is 12 lemurs that like to mark their territory with poo. Despite his initial rage at being trapped in a collection of small primitive mammals, Mannington eventually accepts his fate, and become the first lemur detectives on the force.
It will be filled with touching scenes like the one where Mannington tries to reconnect with his fiance, while 11 other lemur selves check the fiance for ticks and fleas.
The climax of the movie will come when 12 lemurs collectively fire a rocket launcher into the fleeing limousine of the bad guy. In a stunning twist, the bad guy is then transplanted into a dozen fossas (that weird looking thing below), natural enemy of the lemur.
That smell you're smelling? That's the great, fresh scent of Oscar. Check it out, people.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 2:04 PM
4 Comments:
I'd watch it, no question.
Lemur-on-fossa-fu? Anytime.
Why does an animal testing lab have 12 brainless lemurs?
12 Brainless Lemurs would also be a great name for a punk band.
The lemurs were not brainless prior to the, um, operation. Presumably their brains were transplanted into some lower life form, like tape worms or something.
Sounds like the next big summer action flick. Now all you need to do is pirate yourself a copy of "Final Draft" and you're good to go.
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