My Canadian Friends
I work with a lot of Canadians. I like it. Canadians are very polite, friendly people. But what I really like is when they go "eh" or say things like "aboot" or "tuque" (what would be called a ski hat in the states).
It's like a little thrill every time. I'm not really sure why, but it's become my mission to get them to sound as Canadian as possible. I suppose my dream then, is to work with Bob and Doug MacKenzie.
We'll have conversations like this:
LM "Is that an in value?"
Canadian "No"
LM "What kind of value is it?"
Canadian "It's an oot value."
LM "What's that again?"
Candian "Oot"
Because they're so polite, they never complain. It's awesome. I can keep them going for hours. The best part is, the more agitated they become, the more Canadian they sound. Eventually I get such gems as:
"Oot! It's an oot value, eh! Oot, hoser!"
My dream Canadian sentence is as follows:
"I was oot and aboot to find a new tuque, eh. Take off you hoser."
I'm gradually conditioning them to use words with the oo sound as much as possible. Eventually I hope to have them walking around the office making a steady hum noise. I'll probably need to buy electrodes for that.
LM
It's like a little thrill every time. I'm not really sure why, but it's become my mission to get them to sound as Canadian as possible. I suppose my dream then, is to work with Bob and Doug MacKenzie.
We'll have conversations like this:
LM "Is that an in value?"
Canadian "No"
LM "What kind of value is it?"
Canadian "It's an oot value."
LM "What's that again?"
Candian "Oot"
Because they're so polite, they never complain. It's awesome. I can keep them going for hours. The best part is, the more agitated they become, the more Canadian they sound. Eventually I get such gems as:
"Oot! It's an oot value, eh! Oot, hoser!"
My dream Canadian sentence is as follows:
"I was oot and aboot to find a new tuque, eh. Take off you hoser."
I'm gradually conditioning them to use words with the oo sound as much as possible. Eventually I hope to have them walking around the office making a steady hum noise. I'll probably need to buy electrodes for that.
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 12:22 PM
5 Comments:
I giggle when Canadians apologize.
There is nothing better than fucking with Canadians under the auspices of "social programming".
I personally recommend using gravy fries with cheese curds for maximum positive reinforcement benefit. And Labatts.
I'm not sure if I've ever met a real Canadian, but Bob and Doug would certainly improve my work environment.
Do you ever stand before the mirror and say, "I am Lance Manion!" over and over?
Seems like that'd be fun.
And Canadians apologize so often. It's great.
Canadians are fun. And their universal healthcare means that you don't have to worry about damaging them.
I frequently stand in front of crowds saying "I am Manion, behold my Lance!" Then I get arrested.
Oh, even better.
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