Grand Theft Manion
I bought Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas last night and played it for twelve straight hours. This morning, as she pulled my twitching, unwashed form from my chair, Mrs. Manion expressed the concern that too much GTA might start to affect my behavior.
In an effort to allay her concern, I've started keeping a log.
Morning
8:30 AM Leave for work
8:45 Discover short cut to work across city park. Avoided pedestrians when convenient.
9:30 Crashed car.
9:32 Jacked new car.
9:40 New car sucked. Crashed it into person wearing Front Street Ballas colors.
9:42 Jacked new car.
10:11 Arrived at work.
11:43 Finished reference card project and submitted for approval.
Afternoon
12:15 PM Robbed cafeteria. Emptied register and stole chicken salad wrap.
12:31 Decided my cube sucks. Jacked the office of the company founder.
12:32 Set furniture on fire.
12:37 Fire is fun. Set marketing department on fire.
1:12 Coffee break. Played minesweeper.
1:13 Contemplated mining duck pond.
1:30 Bored. Began beating marketing department with shovel.
1:37 Wanted level increased. Began police chase.
2:09 Evaded police.
3:54 Solicited prostitutes
3:55 Performance problems. Embarrassed.
3:56 Robbed prositutes. Felt Better.
4:15 Picked up draft copies of code implementation guide from printers. Discussed changes for production run.
4:49 Noticed SWAT team outside office.
4:53 Jacked SWAT truck.
5:12 Purchased uzi, AK-47, rocket launcher, flame thrower, mini-gun, grenades, C-4 explosive, satchel charges, nuclear weapon.
5:34 Took hostages. Demanded reduction in wanted level.
Evening
7:27 Bored again. Escaped police barricade by jacking helicopter.
8:56 Fled to Columbia and assembled global drug cartel.
So in short, a pretty typical day. I hope that this convinces Mrs. Manion that there's really nothing to worry about.
LM, Grove Street Families 4 Life, yo!
In an effort to allay her concern, I've started keeping a log.
Morning
8:30 AM Leave for work
8:45 Discover short cut to work across city park. Avoided pedestrians when convenient.
9:30 Crashed car.
9:32 Jacked new car.
9:40 New car sucked. Crashed it into person wearing Front Street Ballas colors.
9:42 Jacked new car.
10:11 Arrived at work.
11:43 Finished reference card project and submitted for approval.
Afternoon
12:15 PM Robbed cafeteria. Emptied register and stole chicken salad wrap.
12:31 Decided my cube sucks. Jacked the office of the company founder.
12:32 Set furniture on fire.
12:37 Fire is fun. Set marketing department on fire.
1:12 Coffee break. Played minesweeper.
1:13 Contemplated mining duck pond.
1:30 Bored. Began beating marketing department with shovel.
1:37 Wanted level increased. Began police chase.
2:09 Evaded police.
3:54 Solicited prostitutes
3:55 Performance problems. Embarrassed.
3:56 Robbed prositutes. Felt Better.
4:15 Picked up draft copies of code implementation guide from printers. Discussed changes for production run.
4:49 Noticed SWAT team outside office.
4:53 Jacked SWAT truck.
5:12 Purchased uzi, AK-47, rocket launcher, flame thrower, mini-gun, grenades, C-4 explosive, satchel charges, nuclear weapon.
5:34 Took hostages. Demanded reduction in wanted level.
Evening
7:27 Bored again. Escaped police barricade by jacking helicopter.
8:56 Fled to Columbia and assembled global drug cartel.
So in short, a pretty typical day. I hope that this convinces Mrs. Manion that there's really nothing to worry about.
LM, Grove Street Families 4 Life, yo!
posted by Lance Manion at 11:16 AM
2 Comments:
You could probably get away with office-jacking if you restrain yourself in the morning and leave the head bandana at home.
They'll never see it coming. Staple his ass to a cubicle.
I like the way you stride.
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