Sack of Garbage and Small Amount of Cat

At Mrs. Manion's behest, we have two cats. One I call Sack of Garbage. The other I call Small Amount of Cat.

Sack of Garbage - This a large cat. And yet with a tiny brain. I would call him Large Amount of Cat, were it not for his distressing habit of peeing all over the house. And yes, he's fixed, yes, we have tried whatever wonderful product solved your problem with little Tinkles McScamperfluff. Really. We've officially tried everything. And so Sack of Garbage is basically a large, highly mobile, urine sprinkler.

Small Amount of Cat - This is a small cat. She is less charming than Sack of Garbage. On the plus side, she's also vastly more continent. Her major down side is that she will fight tooth and nail (and she's got a lot of both) if you want to make her do something she doesn't want to do. I'd rather go toe to toe with a circular saw than force small amount of cat to take a pill.

Of course, we are torn with what to do. Weeeellll. One of us is torn. So it looks like Sack of Garbage is going to go back to the shelter from whence he came. And the we'll be looking for another kitty. Because we wouldn't want Small Amount of Cat to be lonely. I've offered to leave the TV on, but apparently Small Amount of Cat does not like daytime TV, and would rather hang ninja-like off the screen door. I suppose another cat is cheaper than a new screen door every few months. I'll let you know.

LM