10 year reunion + high priced call girl = gay

So I've been challenged to relate a story from my tenth year reunion. By way of preface, in this politcally correct age, I am cool with homosexuality. Not a practicioner myself, but I really don't care if you, the reader, are. I support gay marriage and have plenty of gay friends. So neener neener. Let's begin -

I went to Colby College. It's one of those small liberal arts colleges in Maine. It was a great place and I highly recommend it. Anyway, while I was there, I knew a guy that we'll call Nat. Nat and I didn't have any classes together, but when your entire class only has 400 people in it, you get to know everybody.

Nat was the gayest acting man alive. He made Seigfreid and Roy look like Tango and Cash. Every gay stereotype was alive and well in Nat. He was one Streisand concert away from being on the cover of Out magazine.

Of couse, he belonged to the Colby Republicans, so maybe he had incentive to stay in the closet. I dunno. I didn't particularly care other than to think "Man, maybe he'd be happier if he came out."

Anyway, we graduate and I never hear from Nat again. No big deal. And ten years pass. The reunion comes up. And Nat arrives. He hasn't changed at all. Still pretty much a slightly gayer clone of Jack from Will and Grace. The only difference is now there's a stunning young woman in an beautiful evening gown hanging on his arm.

My first thought was "Man, I guess he really was straight. And apparently he's hung like a horse..."

And so we end up sitting at a table with Nat and date. And it rapidly becomes clear to everyone at the table that his date has never met him before tonight. Not only that, but she's bored to tears. We realize that Nat has brought in some hired talent. They stay for a few hours and drive home in separate cars.

I guess what I'm taking from this is that it was more important to Nat to appear straight, than it was to just be himself, whoever that is. I have no idea what the going rate for high priced call girls is, but I can't imagine this ran him less than a grand. And it wasn't even because he thought she was attactive, or to to sleep with her. It was because he thought we, the rest of his class, would be impressed.

I suppose I was impressed by the lengths he went to create an image that couldn't hold together for more than a few minutes. Either that or my gaydar is just completely shot.

Nat, if you're out there, embrace the gay, dude. Embrace the gay.