Prancing Manfully

So, I'm currently working on database maintenance documentation for a security product. It's about as wretchedly boring as you can get without wanting to take your own life.

Meanwhile, outside, it looks like the first nice spring day we've had this year. It's tough. Part of me wants to prance through the woods (in an appropriately masculine fashion) and part of me....

Hell, all of me wants to prance through the woods. Masculinely. I think I'll wait until no one is looking and then commence to prancing.

LM

A new Manion-mobile

So I've been looking at cars again lately. I can't really justify replacing my current ride, the dependable and safe (if not terribly compelling) Volvo S40. The S40 was purchased shortly after the previous Manion-mobile, a tricked out Acura Integra (god rest her metal soul) took a guard rail at about 60 MPH.

Hydroplaning's a bitch.

It's tough though. I'm starting to feel middle aged. I make decent money, and could afford a car that I would have killed for in my teens/twenties, but now I stop and think, "What about the insurance? And is it practical? Could I carry kids and stuff from the Home Depot in it?" And it leads to the following dialog in my head:

Past Manion "Get the Shelby Mustang! Or the Honda S2000! Can you imagine the chicks this car would get?!

Present Manion "Yeah, but I'm married now, and the car wouldn't hold much more than a single bag of top soil..."

Past Manion "Topsoil? TOPSOIL?! You fucking pussy! You make me sick. I remember when we used to outrun cops and come out of exit ramps sideways with tires smoking. Now you're worried about topsoil?!"

Present Manion "Omigod! I'm old!!! NOOOO!"

And so it goes. I think we might be able to compromise on an Acura RSX, though...

Taunted by Squirrels

We've got two bird feeders out on our deck. Lately they've been attracting more squirrels than anything else. I'm not opposed to squirrels per se, but the air of entitlement that the squirrels are beginning to show is really starting to get to me.

Mrs. Manion has suggested that if we put other food outside that the squirrels will understand that the bird feeders are only for the birds. I think if we try that we might as well put up a sign saying "All you can eat squirrel buffet". Although of course that might give passers by the impression that we have a buffet that serves squirrel as an entree. I sense a business enterprise here.

Let me work on it and get back to you.

My father has offered me some advice; namely a "second amendment solution" It seems to work pretty well for him. He's got almost no squirrels, and enough pelts to make a car cover, but something about sliding open the glass doors and reenacting Saving Private Ryan make me edgy. I'd also like to avoid having guests trip over the spent shells in the dinette area. Let me think about it some more.

When Words Take You Hostage

Sorry about the title. Sounds very ominous, but it's not. I'm probably the last person in the western hemisphere to get a blog. Of course, as a writer, I think "Hey, this will be easy!" And then I sit down to write...

And then the paranoia sets in. What about inflection of meaning? What if I'm boring? How do I strike a balance between being interesting and relevant? What if the only reaction is some kid commenting back "Ur blog is t3h SuXX0r!" As if my decision to use the word "paranoia" rather than "worry" is really going to make a difference.

But hey, it's start.

It's been a long time since I've made an effort to commit my thoughts to paper (or anything else, for that matter). It's time to start. (and now I'm worried that I've used start twice in close proximity).

-LM