Tuesday, April 11, 2006


I'm kind of stoked today. Mercenary Words got a hit from someone in San Dimas, California. That's right! San Dimas, home of Ted "Theodore" Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire.

These two fine gentlemen were founding members of one of the all time great rock bands (Wyld Stallyns) and heroes of one of the best 80's comedies, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Why was it excellent? Not only because it rocked, but because it also featured my favorite Go-Go, Jane Wiedlin. Plus I once scored while playing the Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure soundtrack on my CD player.

So why does a hard-rockin' ass-kickin' guy like Lance Manion (the kind of guy who has what it takes to refer to himself in the third person) enjoy the Go-Go's? Because they partied harder and did more coke by 9 AM than I will by... um... well... anyway, the Go-Go's partied hard and rocked out. And Jane (the one with the green hair on the right) was the cutest of the lot. I was crushed when I saw her on Rock and Roll Jeopardy and it turned out that she was not the sharpest tool in the shed. But still pretty damn perky.

Anyway, the most exotic hit I got before this was some guy from Luxembourg. Luxembourg is the country with the motto "Mir wëlle bleiwe wat mir sinn" - translation - "We ripped our flag off from France." On the plus side, friends of mine tell me that Luxembourg makes some kick-ass beer, so I suppose it balances out.

I'd have given a shout out to my Luxembourgian visitor, but then residents of all the other independent grand duchies in the world would want shout outs, and frankly I don't have that kind of time.

So in conclusion, "San Dimas high school football rules!"



Anonymous Rob said...

Perky? The woman's a professional dominatrix. The sharpest tool in her shed would rip your nipples off.

Then again, some people need the soothing nature of that perky squeak while they're being whipped silly and fucked stupid.

And the fact that Alex Winter wasn't "The One" is still a crime against film. "Whoa," indeed.

7:48 PM  
Blogger Amandarama said...

San Dimas high school football does, in fact, rule.

I enjoyed Ms. Wiedlin on the cast of The Surreal Life. That girl quite enjoys her latex. Too bad about the being a vegan PETA member thing.

7:57 PM  
Blogger Ari said...

I hate when rock n roll people that one partially idolizes turn out to be different than expected. How dare they.

11:33 PM  
Blogger Mazzy B. said...

HEY! I'm the luxembourg-er! Where's my REAL shout-out?? I'm in London now - split my time between this HUGE city and my beloved teensy one. Although, I'm not actually Luxembourgish, I've just adopted it as my own, and got a kick out of seeing it mentioned on a real live blog. Another reason to keep you on my favourites!

4:41 PM  
Blogger Lance Manion said...

Man! Thanks for the heads up Rob. Now I know to get my gimp suit back from the cleaners before I attend a Go-Go's concert.

Yeah, the PETA vegan thing sucks, Amandarama. It's so hard to get a good riding crop that isn't made of leather.

Ari, people should always be exactly as I expect them to be. If they aren't, they should take steps to match my preconceptions. You, for example, should become a swedish lingerie model.

And hot damn! A genuine luxembourg..er? ian? ite? I don't know. And I'm too lazy to look it up. But welcome to Mercenary Words, Mazzy B. I'll try to write something worthy of Belgium's favorite neighbor!

5:26 PM  

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