My Secret Pants
Today I am happy, for I am wearing my secret pants. My secret pants are jeans. The secret of my pants is that they are lined with flannel. My secret pants are both warm and comfortable, like pajamas.
My coworkers today have noticed my serene smile and asked my why I am so happy. I tell them it is because I am wearing my secret pants. I offer to show them the secret of my pants.
Then they say things like "Um... Yeah... I gotta go be someplace else right now."
This does not bother me. My pants are warm and happy.
I also have ultra-secret pants. They are lined with fleece. They are too warm to wear inside except on the coldest days, though.
Tomorrow I'm going to wear my assless chaps. Ain't nothing secret about them.
LM
PS. In response to inquiries, no you can't have my secret pants OR the assless chaps. But you can buy your own (Secret pants, that is. I had to have the chaps custom made.) from LL Bean. Look under jeans.
My coworkers today have noticed my serene smile and asked my why I am so happy. I tell them it is because I am wearing my secret pants. I offer to show them the secret of my pants.
Then they say things like "Um... Yeah... I gotta go be someplace else right now."
This does not bother me. My pants are warm and happy.
I also have ultra-secret pants. They are lined with fleece. They are too warm to wear inside except on the coldest days, though.
Tomorrow I'm going to wear my assless chaps. Ain't nothing secret about them.
LM
PS. In response to inquiries, no you can't have my secret pants OR the assless chaps. But you can buy your own (Secret pants, that is. I had to have the chaps custom made.) from LL Bean. Look under jeans.
posted by Lance Manion at 10:48 AM
4 Comments:
If you use enough White Out, your co-workers may not notice the assless chaps.
But, they probably will. Get ready for the visit to HR. Be sure to say QA drove you to this.
Nothing secret or sacred about assless chaps. And that is why I love them.
Where did you get your secret pants from? It gets cold up mere and secret pants would be nice to have.
Amandarama, if I use the white out, then people will wonder why disembodied assless chaps are wandering around. And come on, there's not much point in wearing them without allowing people to check our my fabulous ass.
Sara, go to www.llbean.com and check out their jeans (they make them for women and men). Page through and you'll find both the flannel and the fleece lined jeans. I recommend them highly.
"Why are you so damn happy today, Lance?"
"My soft argyle. My sweet, soft, majestic argyle, its almost imperceptible friction, its cozy brush against my nethers. Oh goodness yes."
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