Return to Country Music Superstardom
Many of you probably don't know this about me, but I was once a country music superstar. From my first hit, a cover of Joe Bob Briggs' "You Said You Were a Virgin, But Your Baby Ain't Named Jesus" I sold millions of records. But fame took its toll, and I fell into a pit of drugs, debauchery, and collectible plates from the Franklin Mint. But when I was on top of my game, the world had never before seen a man so capable of telling the American story in song.
"You Said You Were a Virgin, But Your Baby Ain't Named Jesus"
Rolling Stone described my first album " 'Merican Manion" as "...the first album by country newcomer Lance Manion." Of my first performance at the Grand Ole Opry, the Nashville Star said, "Loss of life was minimized by emergency response units." And of course Shania Twain performed a memorable duet with me at the Country Music Awards. The event was later headlined by People Magazine as "Manion! He'd Like to Feel That Woman!"
But now that I've dried out for a few days, and Shania's people have agreed to drop the charges, I'm thinking it's time to get back on the horse. So I've gotten out my old six string guitar, and I've written a few new tunes. Brooks and Dunn, look out. I'm a-coming for ya!
LM
"You Said You Were a Virgin, But Your Baby Ain't Named Jesus"
Rolling Stone described my first album " 'Merican Manion" as "...the first album by country newcomer Lance Manion." Of my first performance at the Grand Ole Opry, the Nashville Star said, "Loss of life was minimized by emergency response units." And of course Shania Twain performed a memorable duet with me at the Country Music Awards. The event was later headlined by People Magazine as "Manion! He'd Like to Feel That Woman!"
But now that I've dried out for a few days, and Shania's people have agreed to drop the charges, I'm thinking it's time to get back on the horse. So I've gotten out my old six string guitar, and I've written a few new tunes. Brooks and Dunn, look out. I'm a-coming for ya!
- "She Gave Back the Wedding Ring(worm)"
- "I Had No Idea (She Was Your Momma)"
- "My New Pickup Truck Kicks Ass (Grandma Didn't Really Need that Operation Anyway)"
LM
posted by Lance Manion at 1:07 PM
3 Comments:
I will give you a shiny quarter if you promise not to release that album.
Jealousy stings, doesn't it? Yes it does.
Instead why don't you pop that quarter in the jukebox and play my other Joe Bob Briggs cover, "I Think of You (When Orkin Comes to Spray)"
Crooning gives people throat cancer and swollen tongues.
Refrain for your sake, or you may end up with Seamus as your nurse.
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