Deconstructing Spam OR "Br3@k W@llz with your M0nst3r C0ck!"

So I was cleaning out my spam filter, and in among the porn and Viagra offers, I saw one particular email that caught my eye. It was from Esther C Camshaft. Apparently Esther wants me to be able to remodel my house with a new and exciting tool.

I hadn't really thought about it, but who would want a M0nst3r C0ck capable of breaking walls? I already own a sledgehammer. And would it (the M0nst3r C0ck, not the sledgehammer) really help me score? I mean, I know if I had approached Mrs. Manion back in the day, whipped out a 27" crank and started knocking holes in the walls, she would have maced me until the cops came. And then they would have maced me some more. I'd end up on News of the Weird as "Penis Freak Destroys House." Again.

Even if the crank itself was a good thing, I doubt the wall breaking would be a real crowd pleaser. "Sorry, honey, I can't get in the mood until I shatter some drywall."

I'm all in favor of advertising, but please, Esther, let's think about the message we're sending.